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FORTY CAMEL GIRL
Letters from Turkey
Cover : Paperback
408 pages
First Edition :15 May 2007
Language : English
ISBN-10 : 9944518018
ISBN-13 : 978-9944518017
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E. Grace Beyler
E. Grace Beyler was born and grew up in the USA. Most of her adult life has been spent in London, which she regards as home and where she sees her most important roles as those of wife, mother, and grandmother. Now a retired businessperson, her first priority is family and friends, but she also enjoys her volunteer work, travel, and writing.
From a young age, Grace always wanted to travel, and she feels that her decision to settle in London has provided her with a stepping-stone to the rest of the world. Turkey remains a favourite destination; her fascination with the country continues.
Grace says, “Since we pass this way but once, it is important to me to do whatever I am doing well. I do not want to look back and have regrets. Life is about contributing, about making the world a better place. We owe it to those who come after us to do our best now.” |
Prologue :
When the black cab dropped me in leafy Notting Hill on a shiny September day in 1968, I had no idea that my life was about to change forever. I merely saw some jerry cans and a length of rope near a loaded mini-van and thought I must be in the right place. Looking about for signs of life, I made my way to the front door and rang the bell. A young man opened up and gave me a cheeky grin as I hesitantly asked,
“Is this the right address for the trip to Turkey?”
“Hi. I’m Hakan. Come in. We all were waiting for you,” was his welcoming reply rendered in an unidentifiable foreign accent. Hakan motioned me to follow him through the house. “I like your red dress,” he commented.
“Did I ask your opinion?” I thought, but said nothing. He bounded ahead of me with all the assurance of a newly elected politician. Though slim and good-looking, he was dressed like a tramp. A homemade sweater, knitted from bits of leftover wool, was full of dog hairs, and I could see mismatched socks showing at the back of his Swedish clogs. The noisy chatter of many voices emanated from the rear and echoed along the corridor as we approached the kitchen. It seemed that most of the other travellers had already assembled and were enjoying a toast to the coming journey. Introductions were made, and it was at this point that I learned that Hakan was a Turk, something I would not have guessed as he had fair skin and dark brown hair, which fell in a shock over his forehead. I was surprised that he didn’t have black hair or a moustache. I thought all Turks had moustaches - and wore curly-toed slippers. I didn’t know anything about Turks. I knew even less about Turkey.
As he laughed and joked with everyone, it was clear that Hakan was comfortable speaking his own brand of rough-and-ready English. His dark almond-shaped eyes flashed with mischief and hinted at ancestors from the eastern steppes. He exuded easy warmth that drew people to him, and I could see that he enjoyed being the centre of attention. At this point, I was getting my bearings and wanted to size up the company before plunging in, so I sipped a drink and watched the proceedings from a quiet corner.
Hakan was keeping his eye on me. He’d make comments and then look in my direction to see if I had noticed. Eventually he made his way over and I asked about the dog.
“What dog?”
“The one whose hair is all over your sweater,” I replied.
“Oh, that,” he chuckled. “This is not dog hair. It’s mohair. I’m making up sheepskins in the basement.” He began to tell me about WML (Worldwide Merchandise Ltd), the import and manufacturing business in which he was partners with a Kiwi called Ken. This seemed to consist of bringing sheepskins from Turkey and making them up into coats and jackets for sale in Carnaby Street and the Kings Road. Hakan was friendly, open and extremely flirtatious. While teasing me about my floral suitcase and my American accent, he asked me many questions and wanted to hear what had brought me to London. In a short time, we managed to exchange a remarkable amount of information. I didn’t know what to make of him as I found him by turns to be impressive and delightful, presumptuous and exasperating. Despite myself, I was disappointed to learn that Hakan would not be joining us on the imminent expedition.
As far as I was concerned, this trip was probably my last adventure before returning to America. I came from a close-knit family and had grown up in a small town in western Pennsylvania. After high school, I moved across the state to get my BA and then to teach primary school. A year in that role convinced me that I had chosen the wrong career, so I switched from a suburban classroom to the personnel department of a large insurance company in Philadelphia. My position there was full of exciting projects and glamorous travel, but as this work ended, I found myself, age 24, office bound and suffering from terminal dissatisfaction. When an opportunity arose to spend July and August in London, I leapt at the chance, put the contents of my city-centre apartment into storage and quit my job. I would do what I had always longed to do: travel abroad. While the rest of the world watched the first man land on the moon and then enjoyed the “summer of love”, I spent several self-indulgent weeks greedily exploring one of the world’s great cities.
The time turned out not to be enough. Despite having made numerous excursions around the country and further afield to the continent, these experiences only served to whet my appetite for more. However, as my funds were running out, I realized that I would have to get a permanent job or return home. I dreaded being forced to take the latter option, as I was simply not ready to go back. Although I had applications out at several places, I was not confident of success. Jobs at that time were scarce, and no one was eager to hire a foreign professional who would need all kinds of paperwork in order to be legally employed. I had determined that instead of sitting around waiting for what would probably be rejections, I would take this final trip to the very edge of Europe and then see what waited at the end of the month. And so on that autumn day, twelve of us left London to camp our way overland to Istanbul, taking a week to get there and a week to return, with a week in the city itself. Although I had gone expecting to be intrigued, I was unprepared for the seduction that followed. Charmed by both the city and its people, the trip did nothing to prepare me to return to the USA.
Hakan was a friend of Steve, our driver and tour organizer. Since he lived with Steve and his family, he was there to greet us when we got back. I was ecstatic to find that I had been offered a job after all and would be able to stay on indefinitely. Hakan had apparently been keeping himself informed about my situation and was quick off the mark to ask me out. As I got to know him, I discovered that he was ambitious and hard working, someone who thrived on challenges and competition. His effortless confidence was bolstered by utter self-belief. He was naturally exuberant and upbeat, and I knew that an evening with him would centre on pub gatherings, parties and friends. He knew an endless variety of people, all of whom were subject to his fearless conversations and joking chitchat, which could be wildly provocative, but never cruel. He was fun to be with, and we always had a good time.
I understood that Hakan was smart, with the sort of shrewd instinctive intelligence that enables uneducated people to survive against the odds. I had been surprised to learn that he had finished law school in Istanbul. Someone less lawyer-like I had never before encountered. He was a businessman through and through, and all that he told me about his life and his family confirmed that he was never cut out for anything else. He had learned his English during a year at the University of Berkeley in California where he had been a student at the time political unrest over Vietnam started on that campus and moved across the USA. When we discussed the protest movement, he said that he had been far too busy having a good time to do anything as important as demonstrate.
But I found another side of Hakan when I watched him with Steve’s children, one of whom was severely disabled, and saw that he was both kind and compassionate. He had a knack for honing in on what makes people tick and a gift for making them feel special. With me, he was romantic and attentive. As far as I could see, about the only difference between us was that he was more conservative than I, especially where politics were concerned.
As our relationship developed into something serious, we took the decision to live together. Although this would have been considered a bold move – a very bold move - back in the USA, it was, in Swinging 60s London, if not the done thing, certainly not uncommon. Free from the constraints of our small town backgrounds, we revelled in the privacy and domestic bliss this arrangement gave us. In the meantime, however, clouds were forming on his horizon – our horizon. Every Turkish male must complete military service. It is compulsory for everyone, and citizenship is at stake. Hakan had devoted a great deal of time and energy to postponing the inevitable. When we met, his British visa was expiring and the Turks were pressing him to return and fulfil his obligations. Not to do so would mean that he could never go home again, not unless he wished to spend time in prison.
There was no choice. Mustering all his persuasive abilities, Hakan succeeded in his request to the Brits to give him just one more visa extension and convinced the Turkish authorities to renew his passport a final time. This gave him the period he needed to consolidate his business in London and for us to figure out exactly what my role in all this would be. We both had a lot of thinking to do.
Like the decision to return to Turkey, again there was no real choice. Over time, we had discovered that we shared the same values and wanted the same things out of life. I trusted him completely. We were madly in love, the thought of separation too painful to contemplate. With certain inevitability, we agreed that I would go with him and live with his family while he played soldier. In order to mark this momentous event, we became formally engaged (complete with a small sapphire and diamond ring), a ritual that would do much to ease my place into his family. Given their cultural views regarding the importance of the bride’s purity and the fact that, though sleeping together we were not yet officially wed, a ring would convey the sense of commitment that would make me (hopefully) more acceptable in their eyes. Opportunities for romantic interludes and intimacy would be limited but not impossible.
And so, in September of 1969, a year after we had first met, we packed up our putty-coloured VW Beetle and headed across Europe to Turkey.
Grace Beyler was born and grew up in the USA. Most of her adult life has been spent in London, which she regards as home and where she sees her most important roles as those of wife, mother and grandmother. Now a retired businesswoman, her first priority is family and friends, but she also enjoys her volunteer work, travel and writing. From a young age, Grace always wanted to travel, and she feels that her decision to settle in London has enriched her life beyond measure. Not only are there limitless possibilities within the city itself, but it is also a stepping-stone to the rest of the world. Grace says, “Since we pass this way but once, it is important to me to do whatever I am doing well. I do not want to look back and have regrets. Life is about contributing, about making the world a better place. We owe it to those who come after us to do our best now.”
E. Grace Beyler.
Endorsements:
"The book, in its way, becomes a metaphor for contemporary Turkey. While recounting her own heart-warming story, Grace draws a picture of life before television, mobile phones, global brands and mass tourism. Using many different strands, she weaves a tapestry filled with adventure, pathos humuor and romance.Despite the difficulties around her, Grace sees through the superficial around her, Grace sees through the superficial to the heart of the Turkish people, their warmth and friendship, their support and acceptance. Whatever her criticisms, we ultimately feel that she is cheering us on as we search for our place in the modern world.
This is social history written from a very personal point of view, but one which enables us to see ourselves as others see us.
We are grateful to Grace Beyler for her wonderful letters and thankful that she has chosen to share them with us."
Mehmet Dülger,
Chairman of the Foreign Affairs Committee of the Turkish Grand Assembly.
"This book is a very much successful reflection of a highly important milestone in the political, social and economic life in Turkey."
Dr Serdar Savasir.
"A gloss on a series of letters... We don't seize the past. At best, we get a picture of it, and a couple of chances to revise the picture. And the past, in E. Grace Beyler’s memoirs, becomes a figure for a whole series of separations and gaps, places where the mind or the memory can't quite reach the other side, as if the ferry were becalmed, or the tunnel not complete: between then and now, of course, but also between there and here, between them and us, between her and him, between any event and the chance of our understanding it.
'Forty Camel Girl Letters from Turkey' is like a gloss on a series of letters ranging across several different aspects of Turkey. The book is asking a question both to the writer and to reader. Her answer is more than modest, but her initial metaphor is surely too confused. How do we seize the past? How do we seize the foreign past? We read, we learn, we ask, we remember, we are humble; and then a casual detail shifts everything. All letters are realistic, and the foreign past, for E. Grace Beyler, as for her husband and for us, is delicately weighted with a double meaning: the past of a foreign scene or foreign writer, and the past of our own life, marriage, or love, which, as E. Grace Beyler said, is a 'Forty Camel Girl' in a foreign country.
'Forty Camel Girl Letters from Turkey' indicate to the reader how the foreign writer might be understood us."
Assoc. Prof. Özler Aykan,
Academic, Journalist, Writer.
"I admit, this review is somewhat bias because my grandpa happens to be Phyllis' (Grace's mother) brother. I only know about this book because my mother and aunt told me about it. I went to order it on this site and it was out of stock at the time. Thankfully, my grandparents gave me a copy for Christmas. Mom remembers many of these letters because Uncle Bill and Aunt Phyllis used to read them to her when she would visit them.
Aside from the fact that Grace is my cousin, I think that this is a very important book to read because it can show people that not all Muslims are terrorists. To say that all Muslims are associated with the Al Qaeda would be like saying that all Christians are associated with the KKK.
Another reason that this is an important book is that it shows two people who, despite the fact that they are being impulsive, are getting married for the right reasons: they love and respect each other. I absolutely love the part where Hakan is standing up for Grace to his mother and sister when she wants to go on a picnic with her friends. He knew she was a respectable person. She in return decided not to go on the outings any more in order to respect the rules of the Beyler home. It is, in my humble opinion, an important lesson for married couples as well as couples considering getting married: Marriage is the best when there is mutual respect. I will be emailing my old sociology and feminism Professors, they would love this book.
When I read the letter from May 26, 1970, I was amazed at how much Grace's thoughts on Nixon mirror my thoughts on George W. Bush. I have often heard people compare the war in Iraq to Vietnam, but the similarities never felt real to me because I was not alive and could never truly understand what it was like at that time. Reading the thoughts of a Cousin I have never met nor had any direct contact with makes everything that much more real.
There are many little things like that in the book that makes this book both enjoyable and relevant."
Josabbie.
"A beautiful and fascinating personal memoir...
Grace Beyler writes with such warmth, honesty, and objectivity about her time in Turkey, that you are immediately transported there and warm to a place and time full of fascinating characters, unique traditions, and cultural insights. It is a shame that in the modern world we no longer write letters. They are, as this book shows, a unique and irreplaceable record of social history.”
Sara Granger.
"At the end, I can say that a foreigner tells the real story of turkey with a great success and reality I hope all of people who want to know about turkey will read this wonderful and unique book."
Mehmet Sivaslı.
"This book was recommended to me as a gentle introduction to Islam in peoples' everyday lives. I was quite unprepared for getting so swept up in Grace and Hakan's story - I was carried along with the fascinating details of everyday life in Turkey's recent history and felt as if I had lost a friend when I finished! Highly recommended."
Sarah Burton.
"This is an evocative book where you can almost smell and hear what is going on in it. The story is a fascinating one showing that East or West, Muslim or Christian we all have far more in common than not and of course that there is nothing as strange as a family. If you liked the kite runner then this will definitely appeal to you. It is very well written and is just that little bit exotic too. This is an important story that deserves to get a wider audience to remind everyone that fundamentally we are all the same."
J. Duducu.
"Grace Beyler whisks us away to another time and place, now lost to us but vividly alive in her delightful prose. She captures the heady excitement of experiencing a new relationship in the setting of a new culture. One can only guess at the intensity of the culture shock she experienced. However, we sense that her letters reflect the sensibility that she brought to this interlude in her life. For anyone who wants to remember what it was like to young and adventurous, you cannot do better that to follow Grace on her remarkable journey!"
Addie.
"I was blown away. I went to high school with Grace and an adventure like this was a total surprise. It was a heart-warming read. By the end of the book, I felt like I knew her family like it was my own."
Nicholas Davies.
"This is a masterpiece! It is a warm family story combined with a view of Turkey in the late 1960s to which American readers can relate. Grace is of a generation of Americans that discovered "world travel" as part of their education and growing up process. Grace had a particularly enriching experience living with her fiancé’s family and being immersed in their community and way of life. More than that, however, she recorded the larger context of that time in Turkey. It is a compelling account, and all of us grateful readers thank her family for preserving her letters and to Grace for weaving them into this wonderful book."
Elaine King.
"Grace is a remarkable observer of a fascinating time in Turkish cultural revolution. Her reports of the larger picture, as well as the social conflict she experienced with her in-laws-to-be are clear-eyed and compassionate. I have known Grace for decades and am not surprised to see these wonderful qualities manifested in "Forty Camel Girl."
Carolyn Dennis.
"Wonderful! I was sorry to finish reading it! This is primary source cultural/personal/social history at its finest. We again get to see emphatically that folks are folks; whoever/wherever, they are, at any time/place. In addition, we get to inhabit a world most of us miss, and to understand more of the world we live in today.
Grace Beyler is a very special woman and at such a young age negotiated what would likely have been a difficult situation for most anyone in the best of circumstances. That life was real, and, as necessarily so, filled with some emotional minefields, was a great achievement. That she had a real love and a real partner in the man who became her husband makes this also an utterly romantic story--and, in addition to her own emotional maturity, the reason for her successful adaptation to such a different world.
I wanted to hug them both. I am sure if I would ever be lucky enough to meet them, I would feel like I really know them well. My first comment would be to thank her for sharing their lives with us!"
Jo Margolis.
"What a story - family, tradition, (non-tradition!), love. Doesn't every family have a Sami? In addition, doesn't every family wish they had a Hakan? What a find for Grace - a perfect fit! I highly recommend this read!"
Linda Bradigan.
"Wow! What a book! I love it. The derive quality is blowing me away. The author is a born storyteller and what a fascinating tale she has to share with us. I so look forward to reading a little of Forty Camel Girl each evening. I would love to sit down and devour it, but maybe this is even better, it gives me something to look forward to each day. I will be so sad when I finish it. The family is becoming very dear to me!"
Marilyn Lehman.
"I just finished reading Forty Camel Girl. I was overwhelmed with the story and with how well written it is. Having known the author all her life, I went into the book with certain expectations and she passed those expectations with excellence. Everyone who wishes to read a realistic, enticing story should read this book. It is wonderful!"
Sandra Getz.
"What a marvellous book! it made me laugh and cry in equal measure. it is a charming, honest and fresh view of Turkish lives and culture, through the eyes of an outsider. I admired Grace, fell in love with Hakan, and felt like I had lost a friend when I finished. Highly recommended!"
Sarah Burton.
"The story of Grace is a heart warming one and a book that reveals the true heart of what it is to be Turkish. Sometimes it takes an outsider's view to be more insightful than anyone within the culture could be. I was enthralled by the idea of this brave American girl risking everything to live with a strange family in an alien culture all for the love of her dear Hakan. Could I have been this brave? I doubt it. Treat yourself to an amazing and inspiring tale."
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